I'm scared of the differences.

I'm scared of the differences.
What if I screw it up one more time?
Will it affect others' lives?
Hell yes.
And I'll be forever guilty, again.
I'm totally scared and confused,
they always say "Just follow the flow",
but eventually, I will arrive at the point where I do have to decide
and people will want to know my decision,
and hope that it will be a happy one.
Should I only start thinking when I'm finally asked?
Or to keep silence when I cannot give the expected answer?
Or to run away like I always did before?
I do not want to run away anymore,
nor that I know what I should do.
Will I make the same old mistake by ignoring the differences?
Will I be stupid for letting this one valuable chance to pass me by?
I guess, I'm just too scared of the outcome.
And, I've never been so scared like this.
I am my old self again: the perfectionist.